by Harold the Diva

HNOKC.COM Assistant Managing Editor/Dish author

The bitch is here, and he's ready to dish. Yes, I am so fabulous that I need to speak of myself in the third person. We all love Chatterbox Justin, but the queen of Oklahoma City high society has moved over for a true princess.

I've heard the whispers and here's the real deal; I'm dating Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes is just a cover ... kidding. Actually, I just ended a stint on the gayest station in the Oklahoma City market, KJ 103, as Harold the "Idol" Diva. My star rose after joining the ranks of infamous American Idol rejects such as Regina, the ring hocker, and Corey Clark, Paula's boo. The pinnacle of my on-air career was interviewing the original American Idol, Kelly Clarkson.

No bra and all she told me of her exploits as a now successful recording artist. She's living it up with a recent jaunt to Australia where she flew her friends in for the week and is planning an upcoming trip to Europe where Clarkson will fly in a few close friends to see U2 live before hitting the road for her Behind These Hazel Eyes tour. Still a goofy girl from Texas, Clarkson said, "I gave myself food poisoning ... twice." She never cooks because simple teriyaki chicken she made had her running to the loo on more than one occasion. After inviting her to the gay bars, she quipped, "I love gay bars ... no one bothers you there." Doubtful in her case I'm sure, though she's not packing the right equipment, we'd all love to be one of those friends invited to fly around the world with her.

I never would have met her had I not auditioned for the hit show with the slightly more famous Oklahoman, Carrie Underwood, and become a so-called reject. I finally had the time to make my way to the auditions after an honorable discharge from the United States Air Force where I served four and half years.

That's right girls; I was a boy in blue. I looked damn good in that uniform too if I do say so myself. As a public affairs journeyman, I interviewed dozens of flight suited fly boys and even kanoodled with a few celebs. Those hot pilots got my pen out of my pocket a lot faster than that "Fat Actress," Kirstie Alley though. Alley, the ultimate fag hag, was a joy to interview though and made Wichita, Kan., a worthwhile place to live.

Though I'm still singing from time to time and a mortgage man by day, my return to running my mouth via the hand-stroked word is a love I can't wait to share with all you Hard ... News Online readers.

I'm on the hunt for the gayest events in the city and the hardest bodies you've ever seen. So, all you social butterflies and horny old men need to log on, write in and tell The Diva all the secrets of Oklahoma City high society. The bitch is here, and he is absolutely ready to dish.